Over the years my dieting habits have paralleled those of none other than George Costanza of Seinfeld, so I feel compelled to dedicate this entry to him. Well, maybe only in title.
It's really inspired by the scone. They say you are what you eat, and it occurred to me as I broke apart the bread/cake the Scottish innocently term the"scone" that this is what I would be if I were a food. It's bumpy; it's lumpy; it's got an uneven tan! (Ha). It's got imperfections, but yet it's beautiful just the same. (Aw). But most like me, it's oh, so satisfying. (Ooh).
George has declared himself off bread more often than I can count. And so have I. It's hard to avoid one food group, as many of us who tried the Atkins diet before have discovered. Don't get me wrong- bacon tastes great, but I don't want it with a side of bacon. When you're avoiding bread, your burger comes on another burger. Instead of pasta your standard side dish becomes a cheese omelette! The bread you're instructed to avoid seems so harmless next to the roladin on your plate.
You also wouldn't believe where hidden carbs lie! Carrots, fruit, your coffee, yogurt. So, all of the things you'd normally deem healthful and harmless, are deadly on Atkins. But you can chew on beef jerky all day long. I cold only last two months on this ridiculous system.
Back to George. He also likes peanut butter, and was caught eating Jerry's right out of the jar. He used his fingers- yuck- I prefer a spoon. My grandmother Mellek loved peanut butter, my father loves it, and so do I. The nutritionist likes it, too. However, I do remember my bio teacher from high school calling it "the most fattening thing you can eat." Damb you, Mrs. Lidowsky! I think of her every time I pierce open a new jar! Uggh!
Anyway, join me as I raise my reusable, microwavable, dishwasher safe, coffee tumbler in a salute to the scone. It's bread, it's cake, it's delicious!
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