Thank you, J.D. Salinger (1919-2010).

Thank you, thank you, thank you for The Catcher in the Rye. Thank you for valuing your privacy and for respecting imagination. Thank you for insisting that no movie is made of this classic, important, identity-shaping, thought-provoking, evocative novel that would attach an actor's face, a person's voice, an interpretation other than my own to Holden Caulfied. I love the idea that he is off limits- that Hollywood cannot get its tinsel-wielding, pill-popping hands on the character that meant so much to me when I was in high school. He lives within all of us, he lives in the literary world, he lives in my imagination, and in yours.

As an English teacher, I enjoy teaching this book for so many reasons. It instantly returns me to my coming of age years when I, too, was a bundle of contradictions, confusion, self-loathing, self-pity, insecurity, and disappointment in others. I wanted to grow up, but not if growing up meant abandoning my values and becoming someone I couldn't respect. I can relate so directly to the experiences Holden had, and the images and symbols throughout the work are forever ingrained in my consciousness. The baseball glove, the ducks, the record, the Museum of Natural History, holding Jane's hand, the checkers board, etc.

The story itself has a realism to it- I can see what Holden describes as he tells of experiences. I can picture Jane and I can picture Sally. I can picture his prep school dorm room. I can see the cab and the ducks he's asking the driver about. Can't you? But more impressive is what each of these moments he takes us through symbolically represents. I remember being amazed when I finally understood why he admired Jane for keeping her kings in the back row and why he enjoyed his memories of the museum so much. There IS something valuable about our innocent, childhood memories that I don't want to see change either. We all to some extent want to preserve our younger years. And if I'd lost a sibling to a disease like Holden did, I might be a little more hell-bent on it than most people. And, of course I love the title, too.

Readers are forced to wonder: what comes of Holden in the end? Is he well? Is he bitter? Is he struggling? is he still hospitalized? Does he ever graduate from high school? Do any of us ever graduate from high school?

What a timeless, wonderful, agonizing book. What an incredible gift to the world.

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY

OH MY GOD. SO Creepy. It dragged her from her bed. It crept inside her and made her stand still staring at her boyfriend for hours. It had a picture of her when she was younger in the attic. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! That was so disturbing.

I loved the hand-held camera and the true story feel of this film. I liked that the actors were unknowns, and that their relationship was very impacted by what was going on in the house. The tension created by the boyfriend's insisting on being the one to solve the problem lent it realism too. I could picture that happening to many couples.

I liked that you never got to see anything to be afraid of- just symptoms of something's presence. The breezes it created in the house, the footsteps in the powder on the floor, the light fixture swinging in the living room! It definitely got angrier and angrier because of the camera. I can't wait for the sequel- I'm glad they didn't go with the ending where she slashes her own neck. Ick.

The "IF" Factor

My brother is a police officer in West Palm Beach. Ever since he sold his house because the price dropped, he and his wife have been trying to buy a 2 bed, 2 bath apartment overlooking the intercoastal. He's currently bidding on two units in the same development- the one he's currently living in and another that's closer to the water with a much coveted view. He's being tortured by variables he cannot control: will the bank approve my mortgage? will another buyer sweep in with a better offer? will the seller back out? I remember when I went through it, but I rarely look back.

We can all agree, I think, that purchasing a home is one of the most stressful experiences in life. Wanting something this huge and so basic for so long takes a toll on a person- and a marriage. Why does it take so LONG all the time? How does one look for peace at a time of such change and uncertainty? How does one feel in control and content when truthfully, he is not? It takes a lot of patience and a lot of faith to wait for the chips to settle where they may and to just know that what's meant to happen will happen.

In addition to being in the process of buying a house, he's also debating changing his position within the police department. Apparently his supervisor wants to create two new special unit positions and he wants my brother for one of them. However, the positions don't even exist yet; the chief of police has to be convinced they are necessary to create. In order to do this, 6 officers who are normally on road patrol are being used in the new position on a rotating basis. This will accomplish three things at the same time: they can see if taking the 6 cops off the road is plausible, they will see if the new positions are effective, and they can give the 6 officers almost a trial run or an audition for the new role. At the same time, my brother noticed that the job he'd had before in the Marina- patrolling the intercoastal in a boat- has an opening. He's had this position before and loved it. So, it comes down to this: IF he passes up the Marina job to wait for the special unit to be created, what happens if it never materializes? And IF he takes the Marina job, and then the special unit is created, he's stuck on the Marina which he's done before, and which is not considered a step up, but actually a step down in a way.

When so many variables are at play in our lives, it can become frustrating. An older sister's advice? Take comfort in the fact that these things ARE out of your hands. Concentrate ONLY on what you can control. Wait patiently for news about the bank- you can't do anything else. And take the Marina job.

I'm ready for summer...

Browsing through the pictures on my computer I came across the evolution of our backyard pool. A few years ago we installed a semi-inground pool which has made this teacher's summers much more enjoyable. I live in the pool and the yard night and day from late June to late August. Don't call me, don't ask me to go anywhere, don't bother me. I'm either on the deck or in the pool. Just come over.

However these pictures are forcing me to remember the havoc our yard went through to get where it is today! We pulled 4 trees out- sorry, I know that's backwards, but there was no other way. I made the mistake of agreeing with the pool place's first suggestion for pool size: 15x30, which essentially means OLYMPIC. Who the hell? I live with 1 other person! Who did I think was going in this pool? Anyhoo- it's big and it's awesome. (That's what she said, for all of The Office fans out there). Take a look!

First of all, the truck we ordered to come dig the back yard up did half the job, left us with a backyard that made us joke for a while that we moved to Iraq. We actually had to go shopping around for another person who would come to finish the dig in the yard. It was ridiculous. Plus, it was HOT and we were dying for the process to just be done so we could chlorinate the bitch and jump in! But it took soooooo long. Oh, and let's not forget the mosquitos. Um, do you know what happens in the summer in water that just sits and doesn't start moving with a filter? Uh, it gets icky, to put it in layman's terms. We ended up having a pool full of mosquitos large and small becasue before our pool was a thing of leisure and beauty- it was a breeding ground for algae and ickiness. Reminds me of the water George told Lennie not to drink from in Of Mice and Men. Ee-yock, which is what my family says for gross things. One good thing that came of it is my yard was filled with stones that we ended up using around the yard once the grass grew in. Check it out. Once the water was in I fell in love. I absolutely love just looking at the water- it's so relaxing and refreshing, and just knowing that it's always here and I can go in at anytime I want with all the privacy in the world is such a pleasure. We take good care of it and we love having parties. Just look how good the yard looks now. All the Ee-yockiness is gone.

Thank you, Teaching.

It may sound nacho cheesy, but I have actually found much refuge in my career lately. When my personal life is in turmoil, school is my safe haven. Lately everything's been crazy- what with Jimmy having his annual surgery, (this time a hernia caused by last year's incision) Buddy's flesh eating disease all over his fat Buddha belly, my aching back, and a hodge-podge of other family matters-- I'm pretty much starting to talk to the wallpaper. But I returned to school after Martin Luther King Jr. Day to one of the most rewarding, heart-warming school days a teacher could ask for.

My students weren't aware of my personal misery- yet. They were just doing their thing- and it was just what the doctor ordered for this weary teacher. First- appreciation in the form of a simple gift card to Border's. The card was written by the parent, saying "My son enjoys your class and says you are a great teacher. Thank you." That made my day and the universe let me see it in the morning in my mailbox, which was nice. Its unexpected kindness made me smile. That with my emotional edginess almost made me lose it, but I choked back the tears (forgive the cliche) and went on with my day.

Took attendance, collected homework, started the class working, and sat down to look at their assignments. One after the other was exceptional. I gushed like a grandparent over every one. They had to write vignettes about their names imitating the writing style of Sandra Cisneros. They used poetic language, allusions, effective fragments, clever comparisions, repetition, etc. I was so happy with their work. Ever since teaching Our Town a few years back, I try not to overlook days like this where ordinary things are actually extremely special. I collect writing all the time, but the effort they'd put in was another gentle gesture I needed. If their work had sucked, I would have been complaining that on top of everything going on in my life, my kids aren't even trying in my classes- but they ARE. I just want to enjoy that fact.

And then, as if the random gift card and the gift of good work weren't enough, one of my sweet 9th grade boys comes runnning up to me at the end of the day and makes my day even better.
"Ms. Hederian!" he shouted across the crowded high school hallway. "There's a song on my Ipod that totally relates to what we're reading in class. It's called Prom Queen. I'll print out the lyrics for you for tomorrow!" What more can a teacher ask for? The kid made an intertextual connection on his own based on my class. He's thinking about a book when he's listening to his Ipod. I must be doing something right- and that's always comforting to hear.

At that moment, whatever was eating away at me lost its bite. I was weightless and drunk with pride. I tell my classes every year that this is the best job because it's about books and kids. Believe me, there are days of my life where the responsibilities that go along with teaching are a pain in the ass. Like today, I graded those 90 vignettes and it pretty much took me 5 hours. But in those 5 hours, I learned more about my kids, the way they think, the way they write, what they understand, and what they don't. And ultimately, my job does deal with two of my favorite things: books and kids. So, it's all good.

Still my favorite

Look at that face.
Buddy gave us a little scare a few months ago when he refused to eat. He lost weight quickly and I was afraid he was going to join Holly too soon. We took him to the vet and the Dr. gave him an anti-depressant to stimulate his appetite. It worked, and he started to eat normally again. Unfortunately, he already had a skin irritation to the food he was eating beyond a prescribed brand...and it just flared up even worse when we started to let him eat anything he wanted again. Uggh. So it's been since August that he's had these red spots on his belly and all he wants to do is lick them all day long. He licks the spot until all the hair is gone, the skin is thin, and he starts to bleed. It's driving us both nuts.

He then started to scratch his ears so hard that he developed an infection on the patch between his eyes and his ears. Both sides of his head were scabby and bloody from his own doing. What are you doing to yourself my poor boy??? So the vet fit him for a cone of shame - AGAIN- which he HATES of course, and he deals with it the best he can. Jimmy found a cone in Pet SMART that is clear so at least Buddy can have better vision/ less humiliation. Here he is caught in the act. This was during the summer before he got the cone of shame. Some people have since told me that it can also be something called summer itch- where cats just get rashy form the heat. Whatever it is, it's taking forever to heal. I want my healthy baby back.

Come quick: Kitties touching!

Phil and Tula have taken to each other like nobody's business! They love each other! Tula is his little soft sister and he licks her and cleans her and takes care of her all day! She's quite the mushy little addition to our family.

I grabbed the camera the night they were enjoying

sleeping head to head on the back of the couch.

There's nothing better for a cat owner than to see two kitties get along like this. Phil's just a loving sweetheart of a cat and Tula is the perfect companion for him. They even like the same games! They chase the light together, the string with Nemo on the end of it, and they love to climb into cardboard boxes. I know these are common games for most cats, but what's amazing is how they play together. This was a rare sighting- I haven't seen them actually embrace one another for a nap ever since. Too cute.

A Snowy Morning

I took these pictures on December 30th after the snow came down a second time. The 15 inches that came down the week before were almost gone by the time this sprinkling fell, so I figured I'd better get the camera out quickly this time! Our house still has its Christmas decorations up.

Jim went to work and I wanted to capture a few moments of what our house looks like at Christmas time before we take it all down again.

Who doesn't love the first look of snow before anyone touches it?

I especially love the image of snow covering something from another season, like this bird house with a rooftop of snow; the pool all iced over. This image communicates where we are in the seasons- and that we've got a long winter ahead of us before mother nature says it's time for change and we see puddles melting, the sun shining, and everything green blooming again. For now, Spring is sleeping.